Jock Straps

You Too Can Be An Oregon Quarterback

…or how Coach Mike Bellotti is Craig T. Nelson from Poltergeist.

September 22, 2008

I’m not even from Oregon and I’ll admit that as the little souped up Toyota with the Boise State flags flying from the windows sped past me on Interstate 5 Saturday night, I flipped it off. Not that the Broncos didn’t deserve that 37-32 win over the Ducks, but jeez…Did the Ducks build Autzen Stadium on an old Indian burial ground? More to the point, has coach Mike Bellotti used an ancient thigh bone as a toothpick? That’s really the only way to explain the QB curse that looks ready to derail another promising season.

For the record that’s now three starting quarterbacks (Costa, Roper, Masoli) Oregon’s lost to injury so far this year. And with Chris Harper proving as effective as a penicillin injection, the Ducks had to burn the redshirt on stud freshman Darron Thomas, who briefly made the game more pleasant than slamming your fingers repeatedly in a car door.

If your star pee wee football son or daughter has legs and a usable arm, please see Coach Bellotti directly.

Oh, and is it just me or are the Oregon Sports Network commentators easily the worst in the game? My girlfriend and I started a drinking game that involved swilling cues for the usage of "cheap shot," "ejection," and "this is Boise State’s Super Bowl" and we both passed out by the start of the fourth quarter. Oddly enough, the exact moment that Coach Bellotti remembered that crazy new-fangled contraption the kids are calling the "forward pass."

Thank god for the bye week. (And by bye week I mean Washington State)

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