I’ll keep this short since most folks out there probably won’t care, but a few weekends ago I attended one of the best (and most unique) weddings I’ve ever seen.

A little backstory first. Not counting my own misguided foray into wedded bless, I’ve only attended two other weddings. During one (in North Carolina) a little dirty dancing between the garter-catcher and flower-catcher led to a full-on drunken melee between garter boy and the flower-girl’s boyfriend. Nothing like seeing the bride in tears as her wedding turns into a riot.

My only other wedding experience was an Italian throw-down on Long Island, in which the bride and groom emerged from a rising pedestal underneath the floor in a haze of dry ice smoke. There were ultra-moussed guys hired to keep the dance floor hopping. And the entire wedding party was introduced by a booming emcee who sounded like he should be announcing some World Wrestling match. Yes, there were lasers and bad techno music. Luckily, there was also an open bar.

Anywho, the wedding I attended two weekends ago was nothing like that. After exchanging improvised vows, Taylor and Travis (college friends of my ladyfriend) were married in a small park in Sellwood on a lovely day by a man in a dinosaur suit. Having said "I do," Travis and Taylor and all the wedding guests (about 100 or so of us) hopped on our bikes and trekked in mass along the shores of the Willamette. Flasks were passed around. Horns were honked. And at least five bike guests had portable stereos blasting, giving us a proper soundtrack for the ride. The looks on the faces of the spandex’d 10-speeders coming the opposite direction were priceless.

Our final destination was the Green Dragon where everyone was treated to great food, free drinks, and some live music. The less said about that cigar I insisted on smoking the better.

It only took 34 years, but it was nice to finally see a wedding done right: carefree, personal, hilarious, and full-up with love.