Uniformly Fowl

The Ducks rolled out their 1,567th uniform combination on Saturday…Go Team Sewage Water!

November 17, 2008

Thanks to some great thinking by Pac-10 league officials and TV brain trusts, most of us were deprived the thrill of Oregon’s 55-45 win over Arizona Saturday night—a game that featured a combined 100 points and 1,000 yards of total offense.

After seeing the photos in yesterday’s paper, perhaps that was a good thing.

The Ducks rolled out their 1,567th uniform combination for their final home game of the season for the game against the Wildcats. The new look was an all blackish-green affair (think septic water) with green and gold letters. In the multi-colored realm of ever-evolving Oregon football fashion they weren’t as bad as, say, the flaming metallic yellow helmets, or the silver-on-white jerseys that make it impossible to read the names on the back, or the manhole cover lids jerseys, or the ones that are a giant Nike swoosh on the front and a "Just Do It" on the back where the number should be (wait, did i dream that one?).

But what was with the things on the shoulder pads? I suppose they were meant to be feathers. Silver metallic feathers of some breed of duck the Audubon society has yet to discover. Too bad they looked like a necklace of knives, or broken windmills parts, or worse…something the Predator would wear around his alien neck; a collection of human spine bones.

Before the powers that be at the U of O emerge from the laboratory with their next super-ingenious uni combo, perhaps they could concoct something truly revolutionary: a quarterback that can stand upright for a 12-game season.

I know…I’m a dreamer.

(I couldn’t find a photo on the ‘net, so here’s a link:)

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