Wipe that turkey skin off your chin.

November 26, 2008

It’s difficult to look ahead with stuffing gluing the pink of your eyelids together, but here goes:

All weekend long Willamette Valley wineries are starting the holiday alcohol binge early. Starting at 11 a.m. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday you take a relaxing road trip through the Willamette Valley for a different sort of celebration. More than 120 wineries will put out the welcome mat for oenophiles anxious to sample some premium vintages or sip the latest pinot still stewing in the barrel.

Please check willamettewines.com for individual winery times, fees, and locations.

On Friday, if you like getting up at an ungodly hour on your day off, sitting in ulcer-inducing traffic, finding a parking spot, then wading through a horrific sea of humanity, boy have the folks at Macy’s got something for you! It’s the Macy’s Holiday Parade, one of Portland’s oldest Thanksgiving traditions. The parade begins and ends at Lincoln High School before winding its way through the streets of downtown.

Or you could just, ya know, watch it on television in your underwear.

On Saturday it’s the Civil War: Oregon State vs. Oregon. It’s a battle not just to see who goes to the Rose Bowl (if the Beavers win, they’re in for the first time since 1965), but also to see who has the ugliest uniforms in the whole of the NCAA pigskin universe. I’m going to say it’s the Beavs with their newborn-baby-poo on fish-roe orange outfits (which recall the gizzard of an actual Beaver). But if the Ducks come out looking “fierce” in new Nike-built unis consisting of green leotards, yellow feather boas, and real-live mallard feathers where their shoulder pads should be (an actual possibility) then all bets are off.

But seriously…go Beavers. (Sorry Bob.)

On Sunday there’s something billing itself as “America’s Largest Christmas Bazaar” going on all day at the Expo Center. (I would rather blindfold myself and run into traffic.) There’s also a presentation of “The Jungle Book” happening at the Dolores Winningstad Theatre. Great movie, great book, and no doubt, a great afternoon of family-friendly theater. Mowgli and the crew get things hopping at 2 p.m.

My advice: take it easy. Rest in silence. Recuperate from your gorge. After all, starting Monday it’s a nonstop downhill slide into holiday parties, seasonal Kenny G Muzak, and gift-buying procrastination for the rest of the year.

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