In our brief history of beards, Whiskery History: Trendsetters of the Bearded Northwest, writer and illustrator Thomas Cobb describes Sasquatch’s unshaven, au naturale look as "The Ur-Wookie."

The Ur-Wookie is a look that says about its wearer: "I’m a recluse, an enigma, the object of grainy film footage on YouTube. I am probably mateless."

We assume that the Bigfoot type is mateless because, um, we read that somewhere on Google. Anecdotally our conclusion seems strong. We have never seen a Sasquatch on a date, in a bar, or at the couples skate.

But it seems that Willamette Week has scooped us in the hairy-mythic-creature-fact-gathering department.

"Probably mateless? I think not," responds Shawna Mckeown, associate publisher at the weekly paper and apparently also a bride of Sasquatch. She is pictured, here, with beau.

Wait, was there a Willamette Week couples skate that we weren’t invited to?