UPSIDE

Incredible geologic history, probably interesting to someone

Helpful beacon for itinerant Californians

Magma: fun to say

Meets all requirements for the definition of a mountain

Popped into existence at the very moment white Europeans arrived to name it

Could just be filled with confetti

Spares the lives of most climbers

A Vesuvian-style eruption may be the only thing that can preserve Old Portland

Majestic and stuff

Click for the Downside >>

DOWNSIDE

When you think about it, just a big pile of rocks

New Deal–built Timberline Lodge is enduring propaganda for Big Government, possibly communism

Blocks otherwise clear view

No drink cart when you reach 10,000 feet

Encourages area Sasquatch hunters

Supposed symmetry way overblown

The Yellowstone supervolcano is gonna make the whole thing look pretty lame

Would look better a little bit to the left

<< Click for the Upside 

Image: Josemaria Toscano/Shutterstock, digitally altered by Portland Monthly

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