0817 shakedown bear dgxlan

↑ Upside

  • Blissful oneness with nature only a weekend of hassle and inconvenience can offer
  • Calvin Harris single on neighbor’s stereo really hammers home state’s beauty
  • Only affordable getaway after buying 2017’s trendy camping gear
  • Fun way to scout sites of grandchildren’s future condos
  • Excuse to drink in woods absolutely unnecessary
  • Can finally slow down, clear head, and take time to choose Instagram filters
  • One-pertenting is the new glamping
  • Bears were running low on food

↓ Downside

  • Tent only thing separating you from just being a weirdo squatting in woods
  • Campfire horror stories now just a read-through of presidential tweets
  • You definitely forgot that thing you knew you needed
  • Can’t procrastinate reading that book any longer
  • Hair and makeup stylist from REI ads nowhere in sight
  • Jason Voorhees forever ruined skinny-dipping in secluded lakes
  • Wildlife thinks it’s sooooo perfect
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