0518 shakedown prom csrw8k

↑ Upside

  • Extremely important life milestone you will barely remember in 20 years
  • Carrie pig’s blood scene probably would be considered cool today
  • Pretty soon, you’ll never have to see these people again
  • If you don’t get asked you can say you’re just too woke to go
  • Get your suit game set for future weddings and court dates
  • Opportunity to lay a solid foundation of future regrets
  • At least you didn’t go with James Spader
  • Duckie gets lucky, and Blane still lame
  • Dresses so shiny!

↓ Downside

  • Prom kings, prom queens, but never a Prom Revolutionary Workers Collective Action Council
  • That thing the kids all talk about is an urban legend—you know what we mean
  • Smartphones mean you can’t blame Mom for those awkward photos that surface years later
  • The last time you’ll ride in a limousine without feeling guilty
  • You’re probably more Sherminator than Stifler
  • Black ties over dark shirts everywhere
  • Teen-written hashtags
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