In case you hadn't heard, Portland is in its busiest road construction season in a decade, with round-the-clock I-5 and I-84 bridge closures clogging up roads around the metro area. In other words: however bad you thought traffic had already gotten, July and August could outstrip your worst nightmares. The Oregon Department of Transportation has recommended taking a vacation (seriously). Here's the full apocalyptic breakdown.
But for those who must suffer through the congestions, ODOT has released a Spotify playlist to soundtrack your misery. It's called Gridlock Grooves, and it's—dare we say—an inspired mix. Opening on "Road to Nowhere" by the Talking Heads? Brilliant. Carole King's "It's Too Late"? We're weeping. "Where Are Ü Now"? Now you're just trolling us, ODOT. And closing on "I'll Be"? In the words of PoMo's own Eden Dawn: "Anything ending on Edwin McCain signals emotional defeat."
ODOT's playlist got us thinking, though. Where are the tunes for those of us embracing alternative transportation options? Those of us toodling around on TriMet, blissfully bicycling, or just getting those damn steps in? Those paddling down the Willamette or flying private jets to the office? The roller skaters and horseback riders among us? You, dear friends, are in luck: the PoMo staff proudly presents Traffic Schmaffic, a 30-song-strong playlist of tunes devoted to everything but the car. Have fun out there, folks.