Marriage. Vacation. Diamonds. Mayonnaise. Name a good thing in this world, and chances are millennials have killed it. After such a homicidal spree, what was left? Apparently only themselves.
That, at least, seems to be the operating principle behind Portland-run Instagram account @deadmillennials. It’s an envy-inducing glimpse into the lives of two miniature skeletons (she’s got white-blonde hair and beauty-queen eyelashes; he favors buffalo plaid) and their perfect lattes, rose petal–filled baths, and excursions to the pumpkin patch. Sample caption: “Found the perfect oversized knit sweater in nude pink and now I can finally die happy ... #alreadydead.”
If all that reminds you of Instagram sensation @socalitybarbie—that note-perfect sendup of the #liveauthentic aesthetic that went viral in 2015—ding ding! The creator is one and the same: Darby Cisneros, a 27-year-old Portlander who works at a veterinary clinic. “Millennials are really good at making trends and then sucking the life out of them before moving onto another one,” Cisneros says via email, eschewing a phone conversation like a true millennial.* “Hmm. Maybe I should have used vampires instead?”
The account debuted in September and, as of early 2019, counted about 33,000 followers. Socality Barbie peaked at 1.3 million—and then bowed out after only five months. (Cisneros told Wired at the time that she’d said all she wanted to say with her Barbie dolls.) Will @deadmillennials survive? Can you kill the #alreadydead?
*according to the writer, who is also a millennial