What's the Deal with Chocolate, Anyway?
Sizing up the sweet treats we crave.
- Strongly correlated with opening a quaint shop in an ambiguously European village and falling in love with Johnny Depp
- Mesoamerican cultures gave it to conquistadors in peaceful, mutually beneficial exchange
- All of it is ethically sourced if you don’t think about it too much, or at all
- If it’s good enough for Üter on The Simpsons, it’s good enough for us
- An easy, go-to gift for people without imaginations
- Does all the heavy lifting in Neapolitan
- Another thing the Swiss can lord over us
- Aphrodisiac and stimulating properties likely BS
- Diving in a chocolate river actually kind of gross and possibly fatal
- Technically also includes stuff made by Hershey’s
- Does, in fact, melt in your hand
- Sexual Chocolate still hasn’t played a Portland show
- Rarely any golden tickets inside
- White chocolate