0618 shakedown tourists dyblbd

↑ Upside

  • Out-of-town Powell’s browsers may be single-handedly saving print
  • Provide opportunities to stop talking, spit into spittoon, scratch needle off record when they walk in the bar
  • Lines at Voodoo detract attention from the real doughnut shops around town
  • Stray tourists can easily be herded into the Washington Park rose garden
  • Impeccable taste in local lifestyle magazines
  • The Unipiper’s only social safety net
  • Who else is gonna go to Saturday Market?

↓ Downside

  • Constantly performing some mysterious rite that involves milling about Pioneer Courthouse Square
  • All those clicking cameras might actually steal your soul over time
  • Strange resistance to figuring out one-way streets downtown
  • Artificially propping up Hawthorne Boulevard’s popularity
  • Frequently keeping it weirder than any Portlander
  • Holding up the lines at the dispensary
  • That BrewCycle
Filed under
Show Comments

Related Content