In my experience, the key to common-sense morning tippling (the kind that allows you to successfully negotiate your exit without knocking that platter of waffles off the table nearest the door) lies in pairing your potable with sufficient carbohydrates, such as those plated at the Cricket Café.
True, a mimosa or bloody mary is standard breakfast-joint fare, but the ever-bustling Cricket—a comfy, unpretentious hipster pit stop—trumps such chestnuts with some two dozen options on its “Liquid Breakfast” menu. The drinks are divided into two categories, identified as either “heaters” or “coolers.” Since Portland’s thermometer rarely registers more than 50 degrees these days, and the outside wait for a weekend table can be demoralizing, the heaters come highly recommended this time of year. Of the warm offerings, the King of Spain is a hearty concoction of espresso, dark and light rums and mocha liqueur that will stoke the coldest engine. The Urban Campfire harbors at least three layers of chocolate—crème de cacao, Belgian chocolate and cocoa dust—bolstered with coffee liqueur and roasted marshmallows.
Of course, ice-cold drinks can also be effective eye-openers. A hefty pour of jalapeño vodka in the Bloody Gary has the potential to incinerate lingering memories of last night’s misdeeds; and an ominous-sounding Betsy’s Demon Hatch blends tequila, pomegranate molasses and strawberry lemonade into a sipper that will cut right through the sea of gravy on the Garden Fried Steak (an egg-dipped and fried Gardenburger).
Speaking of breakfast, don’t forget to order it. Without a heaping plate of hash browns, gravy and eggs to soak up those potent spirits, your exit could be perilous indeed.