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Word on the Street: a Portland Glossary

Goylexia (n)

The locally widespread disability that prevents non-Jewish people from understanding when Hanukkah begins and ends.

In a sentence: “So many Portlanders suffer from goylexia—my friends at work start nervously telling me ‘happy holidays’ in November and don’t stop until February.”

Related: GOPlivion (liberal Portlanders’ general ignorance of conservative politics, culture); afroassociational disorder (the assumption that all black people know one another)

Published in the 50 Ways to Relax this Winter issue of Portland Monthly.