Oh, deer. It’s news we knew was coming but didn’t want to hear: Damian Lillard, All-Star guard for the Trail Blazers, has been traded to the Milwaukee Bucks. The news of a three-team trade—in which Portland acquires Jrue Holiday, Deandre Ayton, and Toumani Camara—broke Wednesday afternoon. According to ESPN sports reporter Adrian Wojnarowski, the deal also comes with Milwaukee’s 2029 unprotected first-round draft pick, and swap rights in 2028 and 2030. 

While we’ll have to wait and see if the new additions, along with Scoot Henderson, who was drafted from the G League in June, will formulate a winning team this season—now we can only wonder if there’s something we can give up instead to make this all go away.

In honor of Lillard’s 11 seasons, here are 11 Portland things we’d be happy to trade to keep our beloved All-Star in a Blazers jersey: 

1. The Ritz-Carlton, Portland: No need for a hotshot hotel when our hottest shooter is no longer here.
2. The rain: We can now hydrate the city with our tears.
3. Coffee: We might as well sleep through the entire NBA season.
4. The return of the Thompson Elk Fountain: Because Bucks.
5. Milwaukie, Oregon: Guilty by association.
6. The Oregon Coast: If Dame didn’t need it, neither do we.
7. The Moda Center: What use do we have for it now?
8. Damian Lillard Toyota: The curb appeal is gone. 
9. Dillion T. Pickle: We’re in a pickle without Dame. 
10. Salt & Straw: We’re salty enough 
11. All the remaining Targets: we’ve taken an arrow to the heart. No more bull’s-eyes, please.