News Flash!

Go for the Gold

If anybody needs me I’ll be in the cereal aisle.

By John Chandler February 10, 2009

This just in:

WinCo Foods on SE 82nd Avenue is selling boxes of Kellogg’s Corn Flakes and Frosted Flakes bearing the likeness of pothead Olympic hero Michael Phelps for a paltry 98¢ apiece! It’s definitely worth the drive to stock up on something that could become a collector’s item in fifty to seventy-five years. Think Billy Beer or Y2K flashlights. And if the apocalypse hits before then, you’ll have a ready supply of quality breakfast cereal to fortify you while fighting off the flesh-eating mutant hordes. Better hurry, they’re not going to last long.

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