0218 shakedown america fscag9

↑ Upside

  • If we stay really quiet, Trump will probably continue to ignore us
  • Exactly the partisan nightmare the founding fathers intended
  • Basically if a face-melting guitar solo became a country
  • Still world’s primary exporter of YouTube unboxing videos
  • Cascadia’s Got Talent just doesn’t sound right
  • Amber waves of grain and whatnot
  • Constitution drafted on sturdy three-ply

↓ Downside 

  • The Rock’s possible White House run isn’t even funny
  • Invented footbag, but not going to this year’s World Cup
  • Whose idea was it to supersize England?
  • Too many other Portlands
  • Mountains not actually purple
  • Not walkable
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