What's the best way to interact with unsheltered neighbors? We asked professionals from the Bowery Mission in New York City and Street Roots in Portland to find out the best ways to mingle—or not—with houseless people around town.

Offer critical items. Before introducing yourself, come prepared with tangibly useful supplies like hygiene kits, new socks, or blankets. “But be respectful,” says Rob DeGuzman, senior director of program effectiveness and strategy at the Bowery Mission. “Always ask if the items would be helpful rather than giving things they may not actually want.” When in doubt, bring home-baked cookies, as you would for a new housed neighbor.

Respect privacy. Most houseless people are wary when an unknown person approaches, just as you’d be of a stranger on your porch. “Asking for consent is really important,” says Kaia Sand, executive director of Street Roots. If people are in their tent, start by saying “knock-knock” and introducing yourself. And don’t touch belongings without permission. 

Have a hospitable spirit. “It’s useful to remember that people—when they’re outside—have been treated pretty poorly," says Sand. So practice kindness. That could be simply saying hello to people, or learning your unhoused neighbor’s name. “When you know someone’s name and you say it, it’s kind of magical. You feel seen,” she says.

Keep boundaries. “If the person asks you a question you don’t want to answer, don’t be afraid to be honest about your boundaries,” says DeGuzman of the Bowery Mission. It’s perfectly fine to decline to give money or food, or say, “No, I can’t/won’t do that.” 

Seek professional help if needed. If someone is acting erratically, you can contact Portland Street Response, an unarmed group of mental health experts, by dialing 911 and asking for someone from PSR. If you’re comfortable, from your car or a safe distance away, you can calmly ask the person in crisis if they would like some support from PSR. 

Hannah Wallace is a journalist and stepmom who lives with her husband in Southeast Portland.