BARBARA ROBERTS Fab Babs, the widely beloved 74-year-old ex-governor, found herself recruited to fill a Metro Council vacancy in February when four sitting council members split their votes on the previous candidates. Barbara, welcome back. Why don’t you bring the twice-baked potatoes?

CARL ICAHN We love a rabble-rouser, so cheers to this Icahn-ic corporate raider, who’s after Wilsonville’s Mentor Graphics. Icahn, who bellowed on CNBC that Oregon’s last locally owned pure tech company is too laid-back, wants to install his own handpicked board. Oh, Carl—you’re so pugnacious. And with $14 billion in the bank, we figure you’re buying. Everything.

BRIAN OWENDOFF Bombastic Brian bailed out of his influential commercial real estate gig in February, after the Northwest Examiner ID’ed him as the “anonymous” author of blog comments blasting Portland culture, Mayor Sam Adams, Obama, and Gov. John Kitzhaber. Whoopsie, Brian. We forgot to bake humble pie. But we do have a paper bag with pre-cut eyeholes.

SAMMY CARLSON This Mount Hood–schooled freeskier must bring his shiny new Winter X Games gold medal. The 22-year-old pro sailed to victory in January’s “action sports” showcase with a gravity-defying assault on a course of ramps and rails. Sammy, we don’t know a right-side kangaroo from a switch double rodeo, but let’s get totally corked out.

A.J. HAYES We’ll dust off the kiddie table for this Keizer 3-year-old—and for our own safety. When A.J.’s dad impaled his arm and severed an artery in a January woodworking accident, the youngster dialed 911 and summoned an ambulance. A.J., with your cool head and way with numbers, have as many Popsicles as you can count. Just stay near the phone.