Fantasy Mayor 2012: Timber Joey

Timber Joey for mayor? Or are we barking up the wrong tree?

By Zach Dundas July 22, 2011 Published in the August 2011 issue of Portland Monthly

Timber joey chainsaw soccer j98roe

BIO Chainsaw-wielding human symbol of the Portland Timbers soccer team (and successor to cult hero Timber Jim)

CLAIM TO FAME This Philomath-born axman (and former rodeo and rugby competitor) saws a hunk off of a log every time the Timbers score.

WHY HE SHOULD RUN THE CITYA burly avatar of Oregon’s logging heritage would toughen up our effete image and recall that not-so-distant past when Stumptown elected a bartender. Could fire up his chainsaw every time he pushed an ordinance through City Council.

THE ATTACK LINE THAT WOULD STOP HIM “I knew Timber Jim. I drank beer near Timber Jim. Joey, sir—you’re no Timber Jim.”

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