Mick Foley's Bits: Comedy We'd Like to See

From Mr. Socko to The Rock, pro wrestler Mick Foley has seen enough in the ring to fill four memoirs and counting. Now, can he spin those wicked clotheslines into comic gold?

By Ramona DeNies March 19, 2015

Stand-up comedian Mick Foley is a New York Times bestselling memoirist, children's book author, prominent supporter of the Make-a-Wish Foundation, devoted Tori Amos fan, and—oh yeah!—the three-time pro-wrestling champion known as Cactus Jack, Dude Love, the Hardcore Legend, and Mankind.

He’s in town this Sunday for a special (and already sold-out) show at Helium Comedy Club. The WWF brawler has wrestled with no regard for thumbtacks tenderizing large parts of his flesh—so we assume he can squeeze the funny out of his three decades in the ring.

We don't know what to expect from Foley's show. But here are a few career highlights we'd sure like to see as bits. (Bonus set: a cameo from Mankind's sock puppet sidekick Mr. Socko!) 

Eulogies to missing body parts and general pain
An ear. His two front teeth. A hole through his bottom lip and a tooth knocked into his nose. Mick Foley hasn’t endured his three decades as a professional wrestler without some scratches. Some injuries have come with the punches. Others, well, have been delivered by more creative means—including cattle prods, Singapore canes, barbed-wire baseball bats, flaming tables, beds of nails, and C4 (really).

Best friends: Mankind and Mr. Socko celebrate another win.

Puppet friends: Mr. Socko
In 1998, Mankind, Foley’s best-known wrestling character, transitioned from a psychopath who screamed “Mommy!” during matches to a blundering, goofy oaf. This is when Foley introduced Mr. Socko, a sock puppet Mankind would stuff into opponents’ mouths as a finisher. The public loved this off-color touch; truly, there are few humiliations more screwy than a dirty sweatsock in the kisser right when you’re down for the count.

Rubbing elbow drops with The Rock
A series of face-offs with then-WWF favorite The Rock led to a comedy tag team known as the Rock 'n Sock Connection. The Rock: handsome, articulate, “corporate.” Mankind: always stealing The Rock’s catchphrases and pouting on the steps. The odd couple went on to win three tag team championships. 

Mick Foley and The Rock: the Rock 'n Sock Connection

Life as a New York Times bestselling memoirist
Proudly crafted without the aid of a ghostwriter (because why would a master wisecracker seek help with his prose?), Foley’s memoir series The Hardcore Diaries was excerpted in Slate, promoted on The Daily Show, and positioned—for quite some time—at No. 7 on the New York Times’s Nonfiction Best Sellers list. The series, launched in 1999 with Have a Nice Day, has been dutifully ignored by the reviewing literati. We wanna hear all about those haters over at the Paris Review!

Mick Foley
Sunday at 7 pm, Helium Comedy Club

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