Pacific Northwesteros: If Game of Thrones Were Set in Portland

Jaime Lannister? Or Ted Wheeler?
Image: Courtesy Macall B. Polay/HBO
HBO’s Game of Thrones season 7 premieres July 16. To celebrate the return of the show that will take over your (and/or your nerdy friends’) Sunday nights for the next seven weeks, we assigned Westeros characters and places to their closest Portland analogs.
Jaime Lannister
Well-intentioned but misunderstood
Most like: Ted Wheeler, Portland mayor
The Dreadfort
A dark, ominous stronghold on a riverbank
Most like: The Yard
Daenerys Targaryen
Popular among the people but has trouble controlling her dragons
Most like: Chloe Eudaly, city council member
Jon Snow
Possible savior who knows nothing
Most like: Trail Blazer Jusuf Nurkic
Razdal Mo Eraz
Ruler from the east who cares not for the health of his subjects
Most like: Rep. Greg Walden
Battle of the Bastards
A roiling crush of sweaty free folk
Most like: Oregon Brewers Festival
Sandor "The Hound" Clegane
Mercenary who keeps the peace, sometimes with questionable methods
Most like: Mike Marshman, Portland Police chief
The Order of Maesters
Devotees of esoteric knowledge, proudly out of touch with the real world
Most like: Reed College
Iron Throne
Once occupied by a despot, now waiting for worthy claimant
Most like: Portland Public Schools superintendent’s empty chair
White Walkers
Invasive hordes, forcing out generations of families
Most like: Do we need to spell it out?