Song of the Week: ‘It's Christmas ****!’ by Logan Lynn

The Portland musician/advocate comes for the yuletide crown with an all-time great opening lyric

By Conner Reed December 17, 2021

A still from the music video for "It's Christmas, Motherfuckers!"

Portland musician/advocate/.gay helmer Logan Lynn has officially made his claim for the Christmas canon. In the last decade or so, pop acts from Lady Gaga to Slayyyter have dropped irreverent, foulmouthed yuletide tracks, but none have come flying out of the gate with a line quite as good as "I've slept with several hundred dark-haired Eastern European men."

From there, Lynn's new holiday single—elegantly titled "It's Christmas, Motherfuckers!"—lays on the throbbing bass, dance rock synths, and gothy atmosphere, culminating in a near-hypnotic chorus: "This year we place the body bags under the tree / It's Christmas, motherfucker." And yes, Virginia, Santa Claus does show up, to provide a quick "ho ho ho" after Lynn sings "I left no stone unturned / No head ungiven," which segues nicely into a raunchy chimney metaphor. On balance, the track is not especially coherent, but it is extremely fun.

A not-especially-SFW black-and-white music video, conceived and directed by Lynn, features precious little Christmas imagery, but it's still a worthy visual companion: think noirish smoke, bloody snow, and a little boxing for good measure. You can check it out below. 

AND, as Portland Monthly's own holiday gift to you, we've begun compiling our songs of the week into one sexy Spotify playlist, updated each Friday with a new track. Be sure to add it to your library, and to follow us on Spotify for more mixes.

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