I’m not going to name names. You villains know who you are. I’m directing this particular hissy fit at drinking establishments that charge me for a pint of beer (and if it’s more than $4.50, a pox on you) but only pour a measly fourteen ounces or so. Whether it’s a glass that’s not been properly filled, or through the use of "cheater pint" glasses, this thirsty citizen is being tragically denied his full measure of ale. But justice—and full pints—may soon be served.

My totally awesome state representative is taking decisive action on this latest affront to the working man. The honorable Jules Kopel-Bailey (D-SE Portland) is the co-sponsor of HB 3122, the so-called Honest Pint Act, the passage of which would create a voluntary program of compliance in order to recognize bars and pubs that provide their clientele with sixteen legitimate ounces of beer. When a watering hole demonstrates that it routinely pours full pints, it would receive designation as an Honest Pint establishment, a venue where customers can quaff in peace, knowing they’re not being hosed by unscrupulous tap jockeys.

Kopel-Bailey’s chief of staff, Meredith Shield, notes, "We love our beer and we hope this bill will get a hearing." HB 3122 is currently at the speaker’s desk awaiting referral to committee. Needless to say, I heartily endorse this piece of legislation with every soggy fiber of my being.