The type of sandwich you choose during your lunch hour may say something about your personality, says a recent study published by the Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago. Among the findings, eaters who prefer the club sandwich are unselfish, the ham and cheese sandwich appeals to curious minds, a turkey sandwich is for free thinkers, chicken salad eaters are naturally sympathetic, and those who prefer egg salad pretty much want to party all the time.

The results of this study actually led me to some serious questioning. If I had to choose one sandwich in Portland as a last meal, it would undeniably be the tuna melt with added bacon at Bunk Sandwiches, that little temple of bread-on-bread excess commandingly manned by chefs Nick Wood and Tommy Habetz. Using the aforementioned study as a guide, I think I may have a split personality. The study says that tuna eaters are aggressive and achievement-oriented, but those who prefer bacon are task-oriented and often take the moral high ground. I’m definitely more aggressive, and I’m very put off by preachy. And while the study says that tuna eaters demonstrate impatience with long lines, one must wait at least 15 minutes just to purchase a tuna melt at Bunk. it also says that tuna sandwich lovers are intolerant of failure. This makes little sense because I often need at least a two hour nap after eating a tuna sandwich—or any sandwich—at Bunk. This study leads me to believe I have a split personality.

All this contemplation is making me hungry. Guess where I’m going for lunch?