We Created the Most Patriotic Six Packs for the 4th of July. Period.
For beer and country! Rogue taps seasonal buzz with a brand-new amber dedicated to the American Revolution.
Image: Rogue Ales
Recently, we were at Fred Meyer, shopping for what was Portland’s most EPIC Fourth of July backyard barbecue. In the basket, we had our Hebrew Nationals, our bunting, and a bag full of Idaho Russets. (Because suck it, Yukon—American spuds are the real gold.)
America—brought to you by Belgium? We're not buying it, Inbev!
Image: Anheuser Busch InBev
But at the beer aisle, we paused and shuffled a bit, suddenly feeling a bit less red-blooded. Sure, Anheuser-Busch InBev would like you to believe that “America”—aka, temporarily rebranded Bud—is your most patriotic way to get lit this summer. But whatever the Belgian company insists on calling it—King of Beers, the Great American Lager—Bud still tastes like piss. And that just doesn’t seem like the right flavor profile for this great nation.
Surely, the land of opportunity can accommodate true freedom of beer expression. For yea, in the words of Alexander Hamilton, “Happy will it be if our choice should be directed by a judicious estimate of our true interests, unperplexed and unbiased by considerations not connected with the public good.”
Fellow citizens and honored guests, we thought it our duty to shop further (meaning a side trip to Belmont Station), invoking greater diversity of stereotypes and some lazy word association. Lo, behold, the fruits of our labor—a cooler full of patriotic six-packs, for real Americans. (Bonus: lots of these picks are bomber-sized!)
Boss-ass beer.
Image: Deschutes Brewery
THE BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN
- Redhook American Pale Ale (12 oz bottle)
- Eviltwin Start Me Up Malt Beverage (22 oz bottle)
- Green Flash Sea to Sea Zwickel Lager (12 oz can)
- Epic Son of a Baptist Coffee Stout with Cocoa Nibs (22 oz bottle)
- No-Li Born and Raised IPA (12 oz cans)
- Deschutes Big Rig ESB (22 oz bottle)
THE NOAM CHOMSKY
- Crux Cast Out IPA (12 oz bottle)
- HUB Rise Up White IPA (22 oz bottle)
- Upper Hand Old Fighter Barleywine (12 oz bottle)
- Fort George 1811 Pre-Prohibition Lager (22 oz can)
- Liberty Stonewall Barrel-Aged Cider (22 oz bottle)
- Hard Knocks Rosie the Riveter Red Ale (22 oz bottle)
This Independence Day, shutter your knot store, hope the earth girls are easy, watch for velociraptors, and bust out your birthday suit. America's cooling her heels.
Image: 21st Amendment Brewery
THE JEFF GOLDBLUM
- Off Color Apex Predator Farmhouse Ale (12 oz bottle)
- 21st Amendment Hell or High Watermelon Wheat Beer (12 oz can)
- Epic Skeptic Barrel-Aged Peach IPA (22 oz bottle)
- Elysian Space Dust IPA (12 oz bottle)
- Iron Horse Farmlandia Farmhouse Ale (22 oz bottle)
- Uinta Birthday Suit Sour Ale (25 oz bottle)
THE SARAH PALIN
- Fort George Big Guns Session IPA (12 oz can)
- Heathen Kevlar Imperial IPA (22 oz bottle)
- Ninkasi Total Domination IPA (12 oz bottle)
- Baird Constitution Cider (22 oz bottle)
- Silver Moon Get Sum Pale Ale (12 oz can)
- Eviltwin Even More Jesus Imperial Stout (22 oz bottle)
