Real Estate

This North Portland House Is the Clearest Sign Yet That Local Real Estate Has Gone Off the Rails

Dadaism, meet your COVID counterpoint.

By Julia Silverman April 19, 2021

All is perhaps not what it seems inside this home, which spent just three days on the market in Portland before being snapped up.

Just in case you need any more confirmation that the real estate market in Portland has gone truly bananas, consider this North Portland home. 

From a cursory outside glance, the one-story manufactured home on the edge of busy Columbia Boulevard looks relatively unassuming, though the giant Hummer parked next to a low-slung sportscar is an early sign that perhaps all is not as it seems. 

Inside, though, the house is a glorious mish-mosh, a giant middle finger to every home stager in town who lives and dies by throw pillows and pearl-grey walls. Here there are sarcophagi and literal thrones with plastic crowns and a terrifyingly lifelike baby elephant statue.  

The kicker? It cannot be yours. Realtor Mitch Foteff of Rose Country Realty says the home, which went on the market on Friday at $300,000, has an offer over the asking price which the seller is in the process of accepting. 

“It is a crazy situation for the seller,” says Foteff. “Luckily we are in a market where you can call me and say you need a house listed in an hour and I can take iPhone pictures and get it sold by the end of the weekend.” 

Not to worry: You can still take inspiration from the décor, below. 

As the adage goes, "It's the statue atop the fridge that makes the room."

Image: Courtesy Red Fin 

Lions, check. Elephant, check. Waist-high clock held by two Egyptian statues as a focal point for the space, check.

Thirteen-year-old self? Is that you?

Image: Courtesy Red Fin 

Sensing an Egyptian theme here.

Republic or monarchy? Forest or jungle? Why choose when you can have it all?

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