Marijuana Bandits, Rooftop Goats, and Space Chickens

It's another installment of the shortest stories in journalism—because there's simply no time for details.

November 1, 2013 Published in the November 2013 issue of Portland Monthly

←DESIGN: Among other things, the new City Target gives downtown’s stolen shopping carts a bright, shiny red glow.

CRIME: Sledgehammer-wielding bandits smashed their way into an east-side marijuana dispensary—and left behind a trail of pot crumbs!→

POLICE: Gresham officers confronted a rooftop-bound goat, but made little headway with the animal, who reportedly “respects only one man” (not a cop).

FOOD: In the greatest kitchen innovation since sous vide, local dreamers hope to cook raw chicken by blasting it into space and triggering an exothermic reaction.→

DRINK: The most lasting defeat of the Timbers season: defender Mikael Silvestre failed to win approval for Oregon sale of his rhum label

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