Meet the Parking Lot Czar Preparing to Turn Food Cart Pods into Gleaming High Rises
UPSIDE
Family owns about 25 blocks of downtown, and only rarely heard cackling “AND IT’S MINE, ALL OF IT—MINE!”
Soon to be popular with local BASE jumpers
Pioneering a new architectural style: Northwest Dubai-ism
Strong candidate for Top Shade Creator 2025
Started out washing cars, and familied his way to the top
As far as megarich overlords go, we sure could do worse
Carries miniature model of vacant lot on top of his head
Click for the Downside >>
DOWNSIDE
Could displace food carts beloved since 2008 immemorial
Immune to ill-informed Facebook rants
New high-rises to offer stunning views of the ruining of Portland
Man, when you think about it, can you really “own” anything?
No word that his so-called “Ankeny Blocks” will involve a supersize Captain Ankeny’s Well
“Parking lot baron” < all other baronial titles
He is become death, the destroyer of worlds
<< Click for the Upside
Image: Greg Goodman
