The Shakedown

Is Camping Really So Great? The Pros and Cons

We stake out Oregon's favorite summer activity.

By Marty Patail July 10, 2017 Published in the August 2017 issue of Portland Monthly

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↑ Upside

  • Blissful oneness with nature only a weekend of hassle and inconvenience can offer
  • Calvin Harris single on neighbor’s stereo really hammers home state’s beauty
  • Only affordable getaway after buying 2017’s trendy camping gear
  • Fun way to scout sites of grandchildren’s future condos
  • Excuse to drink in woods absolutely unnecessary
  • Can finally slow down, clear head, and take time to choose Instagram filters
  • One-pertenting is the new glamping
  • Bears were running low on food

↓ Downside

  • Tent only thing separating you from just being a weirdo squatting in woods
  • Campfire horror stories now just a read-through of presidential tweets
  • You definitely forgot that thing you knew you needed
  • Can’t procrastinate reading that book any longer
  • Hair and makeup stylist from REI ads nowhere in sight
  • Jason Voorhees forever ruined skinny-dipping in secluded lakes
  • Wildlife thinks it’s sooooo perfect
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