↑ Upside

• Immortal being that sneaks into your house at night—totally chill
• Individually checks search histories before deciding naughty or nice
• Material goods never fail to fill dark hole in our souls
• Planet’s best chance for delivering world peace
• North Pole home soon to have primo ocean view
• As American as apple pie and baby Jesus
• Makes out with your mom
• Free shipping

↓ Downside 

• Old men in red hats not the jolly vision they once were
• Single-handedly propping up coal industry
• Workshop struggling to source rare earth metals for new Xbox
• Never would have started saying “Ho ho ho!” if he knew it would be his catchphrase
• Will never know the ambrosial taste of reindeer meat, aka the Forbidden Flesh
• Lost a battalion of elves in the War on Christmas
• Mrs. Claus probably had dreams of her own once
• In danger of inspiring another Tim Allen movie
• Sock fetish