Normally a commercial represents the international sign to get a glass of wine, return a text or, at the very least, hit the bathroom. Except in France, where our European couch potato counterparts are getting 30-second clips of cool instead of auto insurance ads.

This ’90s ad for men’s fragrance Egoiste, from Chanel, roughly translates to:
“Selfish … Where are you? Show yourself miserable! Beware my wrath! I will be relentless. O rage! O despair! O my love betrayed? Have I lived so long for this infamy? Show yourself selfish! Selfish! Selfish! Selfish!!”

Kind of trumps a talking lizard, doesn’t it?