What Does Your Swim Float Say About You?
On the lake or in the pool, your choice of floatie says a lot about you. Whether you're classy or tacky, easygoing or all about mobility, we have the perfect floating device with which to express yourself.
The Pink Flamingo
You’re a little bit tacky, a little bit attention-needing, but a whole lotta fun. You’ve been waiting all quarantine to show off your vintage White Stag swimsuit and cat-eye sunnies. You may also dream about mainlining Malibu rum punch. Cheers, babe!
You’re definitely a T. Swift fan but only pre-Folklore. You think of yourself as classy and like to indulge—hence straddling a larger-than-life swan. You would 100 percent ask Billy Zane if the floats are sorted by class.
What is this sunbathing nonsense? The humble noodle is the power play of floats. You’re all about mobility—to make the rounds with the drink cooler, natch. Who’s up for a round of chicken?
The Sprinkle Donut
Time to dust off that tropical shirt you wear ironically. Whether you’re just a simple-round-tuber type or in it for the pattern, you’ve chosen the most chaotic of floats (just like your personality). You don’t mind a wet butt, and you’re ready to chill with a visor and mojito.
The Pizza Slice
A pie is named after you at your favorite pizza parlor (thanks to late-night booty calls and resulting late-night orders)—this may or may not be your proudest accomplishment. You’re ready to lounge to the extreme, as long as there are snacks lakeside, of course!
The Classic Mattress
You’re OK hanging back during the mad dash for the more vibrant floats. You’re easygoing and like to keep things consistent. You slather on sunscreen because “safety first.”