Luisa Ponzi
Toast! The Willamette Valley vintner’s 2007 arneis, a rare white wine, was selected for a no-doubt perfect party back East—one of the recent inauguration dinners in DC. We hate to be rude, but can we have the dregs? According to the Ponzi website, the ’07 arneis is sold out.

Brian Schmautz
The Portland Police public information officer just closed the book on a more than seven-year career of thwarting reporters with, “I cannot comment on an ongoing investigation.” Maybe Ponzi’s vino might loosen his lips a bit.

Storm Large
In Crazy Enough, her one-woman autobiographical show previewing at Portland Center Stage this month, our raunchiest chanteuse fesses up about her mother’s mental illness and her own dabblings with drugs and bad boys. (Hmm. Maybe we shouldn’t seat her next to the cop.)

Julian Kreusser
The local lad becomes one of the world’s youngest celebrity chefs—at the age of five—with his Portland public access cooking show, Big Kitchen with Food. The secret ingredient in his shepherd’s pie? Paste.

China Forbes
The iconic Pink Martini singer is expected to step into a new role herself this month—mommyhood. Her first baby, with husband Adam Levey, a photographer, was due at the end of February. Will the Perfect Party be the last time we hear from one of our favorite crooners till the kid’s eighteen? We hope not!

Jeff Merkley
The freshman senator tag-teams with veteran Senator Ron Wyden to fast-track legislation to protect more than 127,000 acres around Mount Hood as wilderness. Senator Merkley, mind picking up some frozen peas from Gordon Smith on the way over?