Bob Saget
Helium Comedy Club: Thursday–Saturday at 7:30 & 10
You know you’re in for some politically incorrect licentiousness when Saget comes to town. His stand at Helium Comedy Club is listed as a "Special Event for Mature Audiences." Make no mistake, this is no Danny Tanner, soccer dad to the Olson twin toddlers; this is a man whose witticisms are of the adult variety, blue enough to offend a fleet of sailors. Anyone who's seen Saget in the documentary The Aristocrats knows what we're talking about. 

Concerts 

Iris Dement
Aladdin Theater: Friday at 8
Blessed with a set of gorgeous pipes and accolades from the likes of Merle Haggard (who modestly called her “the best singer I’ve ever heard” and promptly put her on piano for a tour with his legendary band, the Strangers), Dement has put her touring boots back on in support of her most recent record Sing the Delta. “I didn’t know when or if I’d make another record,” says Dement, “I gave up trying to steer it and just make myself available in heart and mind as much as I could and leave the rest up to fate.”

George Clinton
Crystal Ballroom: Friday at 9
Accompanied by an ensemble of seasoned Parliament-Funkadelic alums, Clinton will kickstart a groove that won't quit. Classic '70s funk thumpers like "P-Funk (Wants To Get Funked Up)," and "Up For the Down Stroke" are so thoroughly energizing and invigorating that fatigue never comes into play no matter how much you dance. And dance you will. 

Danava 
Dante's: Saturday at 9 
Portland prog-metal combo Danava spends a few months each year touring Europe, so it's always a good idea to see them in a local club whenever possible. This one's a free show, celebrating the release of some previously unavailable band demos to vinyl, and anyone clamoring for thinking man's hard rock should take advantage of the no cover charge. 

ART

Space Is the Place
Disjecta: Fri–Sun noon–5 thru Apr 28; opening reception Saturday 6–10 pm

The day after George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic sweep through town on the Mothership Connection (see below), Disjecta opens its show dedicated to afrofuturism, the art movement that uses sci-fi and fantasy to gloriously reimagine the present and future of race. The timing could not be better, as Clinton is afrofuturism's most well-known herald—his alter ego, Star Child, spoke of "certified Afronauts, capable of funkitizing galaxies." As the final exhibition by curator-in-residence Josephine Zarkovich, Space Is the Place includes work by national stars David Huffman, Saya Woolfalk, and Guillermo Gómez-Peña (who recently won a United States Artists Fellow Award and will be performing on a to-be-decided day at PSU), as well as rising Portland-artist Wendy Red Star. In addition to the opening exhibition, Disjecta is partnering with OMSI After Dark next Wednesday, March 27, where Woolfalk will screen a film in the planetarium and Huffman will have an installation on display.

Theater 

Guapa
Miracle Theatre Group: Mar 21-Apr 13; times vary
In need of a feel-good story about soccer and triumph in the face of financial hardship? Miracle Theatre Group's latest, Guapa, is just the ticket. Guapa is a soccer prodigy with ambitions to achieve international status, but she’s surrounded by a spirit-dampening Texas town and lackluster familial support. The play was written by Latina dramaturge Caridad Svich, whose works have been performed at Denver Center, ARTheater, and Edinburgh Fringe Festival, to name a few. Last year, Svich was awarded the Off-Broadway Theater Awards for Lifetime Achievement.

Classical Music 

Portland Baroque Orchestra: Handel's Water Music
Reed College, Kaul Auditorium; Mar 22-23 at 7:30; 24 at 3
Baroque music master Georg Handel is best known as the composer of Yuletide staple The Messiah, but his elegant Water Music so charmed King George I, that the potentate commanded it to played three times in one concert! Needless to say, there was no musicians union at the time.

BOOKS & TALKS

Richard Hell 
Powell's City of Books; March 23 at 4
Here's a man with some stories to tell. In his new memoir I Was a Very Clean Tramp, punk rock pioneer Richard Hell recounts tales from his childhood growing up in Kentucky, to his glory days in the 1970s as the lead singer for CBGB's mainstays Richard Hell & the Voidoids. Hell's career hit the skids after he developed a heroin problem, but he's currently a clean man with a new job: writer and poet.