UPSIDE

2 IPAs is basically dinner

Fans slightly less trouble than the other kind of hopheads

Colonialism always makes for a charming origin story

Oregon grows
third-most hops in country, so total claim to fame

Gets people who flunked chemistry talking about pH and IBUs

Fuels many local conceptions and, starting six years later, school fundraisers

Part of unofficial Portland starter pack, with Timbers scarf and ax to destroy useless umbrella

Because screw your taste buds

Better than a bitter pill

DOWNSIDE

Does not magically appear when tapping TriMet’s Hop card

This beer’s gone bad, right?

Made you forget to call Mom on her birthday

Not the official beer of the other IPA (International Polka Association)

What if hazy just means lazy?

“Fruity” versions range from car air freshener to urinal cake

May lead to honest-to-god war between Oregon and Vermont

Won’t actually produce facial hair