Has Portland hit peak goat? We’ve got our beloved Belmont Goats (who currently reside in Lents). Oregon-born goat yoga is sweeping the globe. And now you can get a flower bouquet delivered by two Nigerian dwarf goats. The twist? The cute lil' creatures will devour it before your (or your special someone's) eyes.
“Goatgrams” are the latest endeavor from Washougal’s tiny Shrink Ray Farms. Since launching in early October, Shrink Ray’s Brett Wilson says he’s completed about 20 deliveries, all accompanied by the farm’s pair of year-old Nigerian dwarf goats, Omnom and Nibbles.
“They’re super, super affectionate,” Wilson says, adding that Omnom fancies himself the dominant one. “At first they just wanted to be cuddled—they couldn’t care less about the food. But they kind of clued into what we’re doing, so now they’ll eat the bouquets."
Yep—that pretty display of flowers becomes a feast for Omnom and Nibbles, a seasonal and all-organic cornucopia of greens, blooms, and maybe even some rainbow carrots (“they just looove the carrots,” Wilson says). Sure, you can request that the goats don’t munch on it, but Wilson says no one thus far has requested their bouquet remain intact. In fact, he attests, the mangling is part of the charm. “You put it on your desk and people walk by and go, ‘What happened here?’” he says. (The bouquet is also entirely safe for humans to consume, should you want to gorge alongside the goats.)
So what’s behind our collective goat obsession? “I have my theories,” Wilson says. “One, they’re adorable. But there’s something settling about them, something calming. We know being around them increases dopamine, increases oxytocin. It’s the same chemicals you get from being in love. They literally make you feel good.”
Got someone you want to make feel good? Goatgrams run $100 and are limited to the Portland and Vancouver metro areas, with only two deliveries per day. (Wilson schleps Omnom and Nibbles in the trunk of his 2005 Honda Element.) As the website notes, you have “to allow time for our goats to just be goats."