The Perfect Party

Image: Michael Novak
JACOB SEARCY We can barely crack eggs, let alone atoms, but we’ll muster the elementary particles of a frittata for this University of Oregon grad student. Searcy operated crucial equipment in the effort to find the Higgs boson, an elusive thingy that may help physicists explain, y’know, the universe. Jacob, we’re impressed: our own grad school research only yielded a semi-reliable hangover cure.
CORIN TUCKER Sure, we love having the ever-present Carrie Brownstein over anytime. For a change, we’re setting a place for Brownstein’s former Sleater-Kinney bandmate, as Tucker’s album Kill My Blues hits the market. Corin, if you can spare a moment from patenting the new societal role of working mom/rock icon, lead us in a celebratory yowl.
RAYMOND KNUDSON & CHARLES FERGUSON This might be a little awkward, but we’ll seat these two gents elbow to elbow. Knudson robbed a Gresham bank, nabbing $425, then drove straight to the cops and turned himself in. His self-declared inspiration? Inside Job, filmmaker Ferguson’s acclaimed documentary on the financial crisis. We got you guys matching Robin Hood hats!
GIGI STOLL A virgin daiquiri and fist bumps all around for this 15-year-old golfer from Beaverton, who landed a berth in this summer’s US Women’s Open. Stoll didn’t advance too far in the tournament, but she did unleash some of the longest, strongest drives. Gigi, we’re breaking out Wii Golf after dinner. Go easy on us if you want ice cream.
KENNETH WARD The evening’s most heartfelt toast goes to the leader of a joint OHSU/Legacy research team developing high-tech, low-maintenance treatments for Type 1 diabetes. Their new system uses a smartphone to time the injections that regulate patients’ blood sugar. (Imagine what he could do with an iPad.) Kenneth, the dessert buffet is open.