MO FARAH Born in Somalia? Raised in London? We don’t care, Mo. Your Nike-
based training regime, low-key local residence, and blistering double golds at track’s summer world championships make you a Portlander to us. While the Brits mull a knighthood, we’ll treat you to ... what do distance runners actually eat, anyway? 

PRINCESS IRINA OF ROMANIA We’ve asked the kitchen staff to prepare a comforting poulet for this troubled royal. Irina, Communists sent your family into exile—in your case, running a cockfighting ring in Irrigon, Oregon (allegedly). Pull up a throne and discuss these gambling and animal-welfare charges. And how’s that yardbird?

ELLIOT MAINZER We don’t know what the Bonneville Power Administration’s interim director imbibes, but we’ll buy the hard stuff. Elliot, you lead a mammoth Portland-based federal energy agency embroiled in a hiring investigation. The previous regime was escorted from the building. Can’t be fun, bro—let us know what we can pour to dull the pain. 

REESE WITHERSPOON OK, yes, we did Google “reese witherspoon favorite foods.” We wanted something spot-on for the actor, who will traipse around Mount Hood this fall as she films Wild, author Cheryl Strayed’s best seller. We came up with “Reese Witherspoon can’t stop eating fried foods!!!” Enjoy our hush puppies, Reese. We won’t mention those other search results.

NANCY CAIN The seat of honor goes to the TriMet driver who saved a cyclist flattened by a hit-and-run. Nancy, we had the comfy chair’s slipcover dry-cleaned, but we can’t promise it will be as nice as your usual perch above the fray.