The Perfect Party: August 2014

A made-up mash-up of the month's most fascinating people, from a gluten-free cookbook celeb to the bear spotted in a Concordia neighborhood tree.

Illustrations by Matty Newton August 1, 2014 Published in the August 2014 issue of Portland Monthly

Heidi Whitman

Clear the head of the table for the MVP of our local women’s rugby club’s national-champion squad. Heidi, we find your sport mind-boggling, with its hookers and scrum-halfs. But in Portland, we’ll hoist any cup we can get. Lead the first toast.

Bill Rauch

Speaking of victory, the Oregon Shakespeare Festival’s leader can bask in the reflected glow of the Tony Awards nabbed by All the Way, the LBJ bio-play the festival commissioned and premiered. Bill, sorry—after a few flagons, we tend to bust out our Othello.

Laura Russell

Everyone, get pumped for the smorgasbord prepared by this local cookbook author; the New York Times called her Brassicas an “impassioned hymn.” While we enjoy your work, Laura, answer the question that’s long bedeviled us: what is kohlrabi? 

Igor Vamos

A standing O for this Reed alum and notorious prankster: he punked his alma mater’s commencement by announcing that the college had divested its endowment from fossil fuels. (It had not.) Congrats, Igor. But we’re kinda gullible, so take it easy on us.  

The Concordia Bear

Hey, Booboo! Another pic-a-nic basket for this diminutive—and, dare we say, cute—black bear spotted in a Concordia neighborhood tree. Mr. Bear, we’re sorry Fish and Wildlife had to tranq you to get down. Look on the bright side: free drugs!

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