Larry Page
Our guest of honor is Google’s cofounder and CEO, who opened a 15,000-square-foot office in downtown Portland for the Internet behemoth. Mr. Page, forgive us for not sending an invite directly. We assumed you were reading our e-mails. 

Andrew Shaffer
Pity this poor Portland comic, whose parody Twitter handle “Emperor Franzen” was shut down following complaints from curmudgeonly author and bird-watcher Jonathan Franzen. Don’t worry, Andrew. He does this
to everyone.  

Ted Ferrioli

Oregon’s Republican Senate minority leader hopes to start recreational weed sales early by letting existing medical marijuana dispensaries sell it next month. Way to blaze ahead, Ted. We’re curious, though, why the big rush?

Pete the Goat
We’re erecting a giant, uh, ceremonial dais for this Woodburn goat, who somehow escaped captivity and wandered back to his owners after being stolen. Welcome home, Pete. Now, just step up here. Don’t mind the flames.

Susan Gage
Raise your glass for the O’s longtime managing editor and 19-year vet of the newsroom, who got the heave-ho from the paper this spring. Susan, your departure is a blow to local journalism. Feel free to rant. We promise it’s off the record.