N. Christian Anderson III

A toast to the Oregonian publisher, splitting for Eugene’s Register-Guard. NCA3, your time was “impactful”: you sliced home delivery, cut reporters, sold the HQ. Cheers, chief—but if this is survival, what does extinction look like?

Cameron Whitten

We’ll plump the cushiest chair for this social-justice activist, cited this spring after verbal argy-bargy with a streetcar operator. Sounds like a tough day, Cam. Given your self-described “sugar-free vegan” diet, it’s possible you were just hangry. 

Tesca Fitzgerald

In happier tidings, it’s been a blast to see this spiky-haired Portland State alumna gracing the university’s recent ad campaign. After graduating at 16, Tesca, word is you’re “teaching robots to think.” Will they be as intimidated by your smarts as we are?

Cana Flug

We cooked brunch straight off the menu of Cana’s 112-year-old restaurant, Besaw’s. Bummer the place closed; double bummer you’re fighting the building owner over rights to the name. Wild salmon scramble? 

Patterson Hood

We’ll close the night with an intimate acoustic set from the Drive-By Truckers front man, reportedly ditching Athens, Georgia, for his “favorite city in America”: Portland! Welcome, Patterson. We’ll inspect your beard for design compliance later.