How Qualified Is Ted Wheeler, Really?
UPSIDE
Already has ironclad campaign slogan: “Wheelin’ and Dealin’”
As former Eagle Scout, can win over voters with sweet knot-tying skills
His degree from Harvard is probably better than yours
Resisted corrupting influence of absolute power as Multnomah County chair
Once snowshoed to North Pole, so can tell futuregenerations what snow looks like
Power move: suggestively removing glasses
Charlie Hales’s withdrawal relieves voters of oppressive burden of having to make a choice
Still on Amanda Fritz’s good side
Click for the Downside >>
DOWNSIDE
Probably couldn’t hang at one of Jeff Cogen’s ragers
Summited Mount Everest, while we have a perfectly decent mountain of our own
Competes in Ironman Triathalon every year— and we’ll definitely have to hear about it
Great-grandfather’s town of Wheeler, Oregon, is near the tsunami zone
Sixth-generation Oregonian, and still no royal title
Name is an ominous anagram for “He weltered”
Last in candidate pool alphabetically
Kind of a Miranda
