↑ Upside

• “Men’s Rights” movement makes it easy to identify nation’s mouthbreathers
• Additional checkboxes under “Sex” might upset fragile bureaucrats
• Glass ceilings could simply be rebranded as sunroofs or skylights
• How will our subsistence farming society function without it?
• Critics of gender wage gap ignore fact that mo’ money mo’ problems
• Adam and Eve remain totally relevant metaphor for 2017
• Historically safe long-term investment option
• “Paterfamilias” fun to say

↓ Downside

• Ability to reach things on top shelf admittedly dubious foundation for social system
• Wizened, bearded patriarch population already dwindling
• In steep decline since Arnold Schwarzenegger got pregnant in Junior
• “Honey, I’m home!” doesn’t have same ring now that house is cold and empty
• Dismal 50 percent satisfaction rate among humans
• List of good wars short
• Concept kinda peaked with codpieces tbh
• Ominous signs system is barreling toward global calamity—but, eh, it’s probably nothing