You Just Moved Here. So What Gives, Portland?
We subject the Rose City to a sniff test.
- Embodies everything that your crazy conservative uncle rants against on Facebook
- Trail Blazers just good enough to instill false hope year after year
- Forest Park offers lazy nature escape with bare minimum of effort
- Poison’s “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” not official city power ballad
- Strong chance you’re in the band you’re going to see
- Sun shines 365 days a year (if you’re at 30,000 feet)
- Soggy is a state of mind, man
- Caffeine jitters infectious
- Liberal bubble not yet hermetically sealed
- Slowly transforming itself into Amélie location set
- Oregon unfairly difficult to pronounce, apparently
- Rivers too easily become metaphor for flowing tears
- Brunch lines and political protests increasingly indistinguishable
- After six months here, you need a trigger warning on the rest of the world