↑ Upside

• Extremely important life milestone you will barely remember in 20 years
• Carrie pig’s blood scene probably would be considered cool today
• Pretty soon, you’ll never have to see these people again
• If you don’t get asked you can say you’re just too woke to go
• Get your suit game set for future weddings and court dates
• Opportunity to lay a solid foundation of future regrets
• At least you didn’t go with James Spader
• Duckie gets lucky, and Blane still lame
• Dresses so shiny!

↓ Downside

• Prom kings, prom queens, but never a Prom Revolutionary Workers Collective Action Council
• That thing the kids all talk about is an urban legend—you know what we mean
• Smartphones mean you can’t blame Mom for those awkward photos that surface years later
• The last time you’ll ride in a limousine without feeling guilty
• You’re probably more Sherminator than Stifler
• Black ties over dark shirts everywhere
• Teen-written hashtags