↑ Upside

• Out-of-town Powell’s browsers may be single-handedly saving print
• Provide opportunities to stop talking, spit into spittoon, scratch needle off record when they walk in the bar
• Lines at Voodoo detract attention from the real doughnut shops around town
• Stray tourists can easily be herded into the Washington Park rose garden
• Impeccable taste in local lifestyle magazines
• The Unipiper’s only social safety net
• Who else is gonna go to Saturday Market?

↓ Downside

• Constantly performing some mysterious rite that involves milling about Pioneer Courthouse Square
• All those clicking cameras might actually steal your soul over time
• Strange resistance to figuring out one-way streets downtown
• Artificially propping up Hawthorne Boulevard’s popularity
• Frequently keeping it weirder than any Portlander
• Holding up the lines at the dispensary
• That BrewCycle