↑ Upside

• Europe tried to ban memes so they can’t claim the high road anymore
• Ted Wheeler didn’t participate in the “In My Feelings” challenge
• Wildfire smoke lent the city a sexy Blade Runner vibe
• Russia didn’t demand too much of us new citizens yet
• One year closer to the sweet release of death
• They made a new iPhone I guess
• Magazine journalism survived*
• Divisible by 2

↓ Downside

• Still three Portland restaurants left that haven’t been rebranded as wine bars
• This column inspired only a handful of angry reader letters—it’s like you don’t even care
• Trump stuff is even weirder than circa-2017-you could have imagined
• Everyone forgot 20th anniversary of Armageddon
• Failed to obtain foreign citizenship à la Meghan Markle
• Results of 2018 midterms bad somehow, probably*
• Electric scooters, amirite?

*As of press time. This issue went to press on Election Day.