UPSIDE

At least Portland’s not on the “polar coaster” the Farmers’ Almanac foretold

Still time to fix planet before Earth Day’s 50th anniversary in April

Already way cooler than 1920, the year that brought us Prohibition

Tokyo Olympics will make badminton hot, hot, hot!

Definitely the year you get your shit together, for sure

No World Cup for US men to not qualify for

Leap year, bitches

DOWNSIDE

Honestly, getting that same uneasy feeling in our stomach as in 2016

Sasquatch unlikely to run for Greg Walden’s congressional seat

A million “community visioning” project titles now out of date

Russia hasn’t announced US election results yet

We still can’t vacation on Mars

Inevitable hindsight jokes