After her March 29 date at the Moda Center, the pop star can procure some beer (we suggest dual IPAs), and take over the playlist. Only one Olivia Newton-John track per hour, Dua, and no “Greater Albania” talk until we’re all good and sloshed.
Taylor & Isaiah Green-Jones
This local couple made a too-brief appearance on season 33 of The Amazing Race, but catch them dancing on TikTok. Guys, you’re in charge of planning the after-dinner games, but no crocodile cages, please.
Just desserts—perhaps cotton candy?—for appearing at a city council meeting to nominate Mayor Wheeler for a (fictitious) “Clown of the Year” award, kicking up something of a media circus in the process. Too much to ask that you also handle the carpool, Ron?
A marionberry pie for this, erm, eccentric pillar of Oregon politics, finally retiring after nearly 50 years. You’ve survived a burst appendix, a light insurrection, and almost 20 years as Oregon Senate President—but can you survive a round of karaoke with Dua Lipa?
Port all around to honor the cocreator of Naomi, the CW adaptation of Portlanders David F. Walker and Brian Michael Bendis’s “Port Oswego”–set comic series. Bring us allll the tea about directing Oprah as a disco-armored astral being in A Wrinkle in Time, Ava.